


Kiss

by spacedaughter



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crushes, Drunkenness, Fluff and Angst, Gotham City Police Department, Jealous Edward Nygma, Kissing, M/M, Mentioned Isabella (Gotham), Minor Oswald Cobblepot/Victor Zsasz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28383621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacedaughter/pseuds/spacedaughter
Summary: Oswald and Ed play 20 questions, and jealous Ed gets mad when he finds out who kissed Oswald before him.This happens around s3 when Oswald is mayor of Gotham.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot & Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Victor Zsasz
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Kiss

"Jim Gordon's easy on the eyes, too."  
Oswald takes a sip of wine and nods. Ed continues, "but he makes it hard when he starts talking."  
Oswald chuckles before downing his drink, signaling Ed to pour wine in the empty glass.

Someone gifted them with boxes of alcohol, and it has been routine to drink a bottle (or more) out of a box every other day. Tonight, they're having red wine and playing 20 questions. 

They started the night talking about Oswald's mayoral duties, but Ed, ever the competent chief-of-staff he is, scheduled and planned out everything for the next weeks in under thirty minutes. Rather than sit in silence drinking alcohol, Ed suggested a get-to-know-each-other-even-more session with his political and, finally, romantic partner, Oswald.

"Who else?" Oswald asks, tapping his fingers impatiently on the wooden dining table. The fire crackles as Ed takes a moment to think of who else he finds attractive in the the GCPD. Of course he skipped all the bad cops. He mentioned Alvarez and Lee Thompkins. He thinks for a bit and his eyes roll at the image popping in his mind: Tall, dark, and handsome.  
"Oh my god... Lucius Fox."  
Oswald's eyes light up and he nods eagerly, "I think you two would be great together. Both handsome, intelligent men. You'll do your evil deeds in secrecy right under the GCPD's blind, pathetic eyes." 

Ed imagines for a moment, his lips forming a shy smile, "Yeah, but if I ever confessed to Lucius Fox he would just say 'thank you' and go about his day."  
Oswald laughed out loud, his voice echoing in the hall. "That he would do."

Ed claps his hands, and Oswald jumps at the sound, spilling wine from Ed's glass as he is refilling it.  
"Ok, my turn to ask. Other than me, have you had any sexual experiences with other men?"

Oswald sucks in his lower lip and looks up at the ceiling thinking.  
"Yeah," he answers with a serious face.  
"Ok, my turn agai--"  
"Wait, wait! Wait... That response is too brief!"  
"I answered the question, Ed."  
"Well, I have a follow up!"  
"Fine, but you're down to 12 questions, sir." Oswald's tone is slurred and flirting. His cheeks are flushed, and his eyes feel hot. He's tipsy enough to entertain Ed's questions but not drunk enough to not be careful about what he says. Ed Nygma, the cold logician that he is, is actually quite emotional.

"Who?"  
"You want me to name all of them?"  
"Oh my god, there's too many to name?!" Ed almost shouts, scandalized by his own thoughts.  
"No! You just don't know most of them, so giving names is pointless."

Ed thinks for a sec. He wants to know who he's at par with at least, this will assure that he will be performing to Oswald's experiences and satisfaction.  
"Ok." He sighs. "Who do I know?"  
Oswald opens and closes his mouth, fumbling to find the words, "By sexual experiences, you mean like, SEX sex? Penetration? Or?"  
Ed feels a hint of arousal when Oswald drops these words. "Anything physical I guess. Kissing? Hand jobs? Dry... Humping?" He slurs and tries to hold a burp that eventually escapes.

"Sexy, Ed." Oswald comments before responding.  
"There's only one you know, and it was just kissing." Oswald downs his drink again. A loud slamming sound bangs across the room as Ed had smacked his hands hard on the table, causing Oswald to spill a bit of wine from his mouth.  
"WHO?!" Ed pushes the word out in frustration.  
Oswald couldn't help but laugh. Ed always has to know everything.

"Victor Zsasz." Ed's mouth opens wide, not to ask another question, but to let out a gasp of air from shock. He means the man walking around their mansion all willy nilly? Pulling out his gun anytime Oswald just about looks at him?

"This was before we were together, Ed. He found me sitting in this dining area, alone. He was going to bid me goodbye for the day and saw I had dinner prepared. You know Zsasz and his lack of boundaries..."

Ed feels hotness forming in him, unsure if it's from the amount of wine he's been drinking or from the rage building in his core. What did Victor Zsasz do to Oswald?! Did he force himself on him? Did he point a gun to his head and force him to k--  
"Ok, Edward, you're wearing that I'm-going-to-murder-you look in your eyes. Calm down. He asked if he could eat the prepared dinner with me. After all, it was too much for one person, and I'd lost my appetite then, so I said yes."  
There is a pause and Ed's impatience comes out his nose in an aggressive huff. Oswald is amused.  
"And then we drank all night. He told me about his time with the Falcone family, his other sidelines, the scars on his arms, his grandmother, and his love for jazz." Oswald raises his palms and shakes his splayed fingers.

Ed's body begins to lean forward, involuntarily. He apparently got dizzy from shouting a while ago and from trying to fight a lump down in his throat.  
"And....?" He sounds defeated, and normally Oswald would feel bad, but one of his favorite Eds is jealous Ed.

"Then, when he was about to leave, I stood up to walk him to the door. He said goodbye and gave me a kiss."  
"How long...?"  
"Seriously, Ed?"  
Ed's eyelids are heavy, his posture is weak, but Oswald could tell he will not be backing down.  
"A bit long."  
"Tongue?"  
Oswald bites his lower lip and nods, and Ed finally slouches down, face planted on the table.

"Ed, you asked..."  
"I did. I did ask."

He buries his face in his hands before raising his head to meet Oswald's eyes. His boyfriend was wearing a look on his face, one that says 'I feel bad' or maybe 'I pity you,' and Ed feels a little embarrassed for pushing. It was just a kiss. The alcohol is just making it hard for him to be rational. His logic is lost but he has a bit of power left to convince himself to move on to a new topic. However, there's a realization.

"Wait, when was this?"  
"Edward Nygma, you are running out of questions."  
Ed holds his gaze, and Oswald looks to the fireplace before bringing his drink to his lips. He speaks into the glass, but Ed could hear him clearly. "Just 2 weeks ago."  
"Wait..." Ed does some mental backtracking. "Was that... Was that when I went out for wine? Was that supposed to be our dinner?!"

Oswald can tell Ed is a bit angry, but whatever Ed is feeling in the moment, he feels the need to double it.  
So he snaps, "Yes, and you didn't arrive because you were too busy exchanging riddles with some fake blonde siren you just met who, might I remind you, you claimed to have fallen in love with IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS!"  
Ed is taken aback by the sudden rise of Oswald's voice. He blinks a few times and thinks. He really is in no place to be jealous or demanding of Oswald's loyalty, or anything from him in this case.

'I'm sorry' is what he wants to say but, contrary to what he previously thought, he's lost all power to move on from this new information.  
"At least I'm not walking around commanding a leather-wrapped tempress buffoon who I sucked faced with! Oh-ho!" 

A volcano of emotions explodes inside him. Oswald rises from his seat. He pours the last bit of wine from the bottle, shaking every drop out of it into his glass, and throws the bottle to the wall. It shatters, and Ed stiffens at the bang.

"I am a professional, Ed. I do not keep people just so I can eyeball them, and might I remind you that I held my feelings for you in secrecy for WEEKS and only thought of confessing my feelings over a formal dinner because you gave me a sign. Finally, not that it matters but I have none for Victor Zsasz, thank you very fucking much!" Oswald chugs the wine, and his face curls from the dryness.

'I believe you, I swear. I'm sorry' is what Ed wants to say but instead he lifts himself from his seat and tumbles to the desk at the side of the room. He opens the drawer and pulls out a binder. Pieces of paper fall out as he heaves it onto the table. His sight is blurry from drunkness, so he squints his eyes from behind his glasses. Oswald watches him as his index finger moves up and down a page.  
"Aha!" He finally says, and smiles that proud smile at Oswald, tearing his eyes off that day's schedule. "He's here."

Oswald rolls his eyes when he realizes what Ed meant. Victor was finishing some business in the mansion basement, and he doesn't remember him leaving. He'd remember because Zsasz always says 'good bye' before he does. Of course, Ed already knows that now.

Oswald has had enough for tonight though. While he enjoyed jealous Ed for a few minutes, he's realized his cold logician has completely transitioned from genius psychopath to just plain insane. He makes a mental note of never drinking wine with him again and giving away the remaining boxes to his people.

"Ok, Ed. That's enough."  
"No, no! I would like to make it clear to Mizzur Zsasz that that kiss was temporary bliss, and it will never happen again!"  
Then he starts screaming Victor's name, his hoarse voice jumping from wall to wall. Oswald just buries his face in his hands. He shouldn't have teased jealous Ed.

"Going to make it crystal clear!" Ed pinches his thumbs and index fingers together and makes a curve line in the air.  
"Ah, because it wasn't made clear already when it was established that you and I are already, loyally, romantically involved?" Oswald's tone is angry and sarcastic, and Ed can't help but pout and feel bad at the question.

"Very disappointed by this assumption that I would be anything but loyal to you, Edward Nygma."  
As Oswald drops this statement, the high washes off Ed like a cold shower. He's becoming sober, but before he finally says 'I'm sorry,' hoping that third time's the charm, the door creaks open.

Victor Zsasz stood at the doorway wearing an all black suit, a gun holster clinging on his arms, and shiny leather shoes. Of course Ed eyes him from top to bottom; he has to know what he's up against.  
"You called?" Victor says, deadpanned. The redness around his eyes make his pupils stand out. Sharp. Evil. Dead.

Oswald just looks at Ed.  
"I.. uhh... I... Yes." Ed walks slowly to Victor Zsasz. He stands a few inches from him, before straightening up. He's way taller than the assassin but the dark aura coming off Zsasz makes him feel conscious. He looks down to see Victor's fingers are curled, twitching, ready to pull both guns from his holster to decorate the wall with whoever's brains. Of course, Oswald would never let him shoot Ed. He turns around to confirm this only to see Oswald sitting down, legs crossed, looking away from them and watching the fireplace.

"Well?" Zsasz's question is flat but Ed could hear his impatience.  
"I... You..." He coughs. Usually, Ed would know what to say. He plans the conversation without the other party knowing, predicting and preparing every response. However, too much wine apparently renders him too dull to function.  
"You kissed Oswald." His voice shakes and pierces the short silence hovering above them.  
Victor holds his gaze up at him, the corner of his lips point and expose his teeth.  
"Yes."  
It irritates Ed that he apparently has this in common with Oswald, brief responses.  
"Don't... Don't let that happen again." He musters.  
"Of course." Victor's mouth moves very little when he talks, and the words just seem to fall off his tongue.  
"Ok.. umm, good. Thank you."  
Ed turns at the sound of Oswald's heels clicking.

"That is all, Victor. I apologize for interrupting your regularly scheduled program. Now, if you still have business to attend to, you may leave. Please." Oswald smiles, and Victor winks at him before leaving and shutting the door behind him.  
Ed's jaw drops, and he turns to Oswald, offense clear on his face.  
"He is a screwing with you, Ed."

Ed let's out a huff again, and he clumsily makes his way back to the dining table and slumps down a chair. Tonight has been embarrassing, and he just wants to fade into nonexistence for a few hours, just until the shame goes away.

"Ed, this happened before you." Oswald whispers to himself but Ed hears him clearly.  
He has his face buried in his hands but he can tell that Oswald is standing next to him , seeing his shape from the corner of his eye.

"My life with you now is what matters to me. I never go back pass the moment you ran inside this very hall and told me, thank all the heavens, that you loved me."  
Ed tilts his head back and rests it on the chair. Oswald is standing over him.  
"You're insane, you know that?" Oswald smiles at him. He looks into his lover's eyes and he feels the shame going away.  
"All for you." He pulls Oswald down for a kiss.  
Oswald pulls back to kiss him on the nose and then the forehead.  
"Good."

He smiles and thinks about how lucky he is. He might not be the first but he's aiming to be Oswald's last. He'll make sure of it. Then he makes a mental note: apologize to Victor Zsasz. Give him a jazz CD or something.

Then he watches Oswald limp back to his chair. He grabs another bottle of wine from a box under the table and pops the cork off.

"Ok, my turn. Who kisses better, me, Kristen Kringle, or Isabelle?"  
Ed shakes his head. It was no competition.

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure, I wrote this while drunk on wine. I think jealous Ed is adorable and Victor Zsasz is sexy. So is Oswald, so everyone wants him.


End file.
